I know, I know… It’s only been two days since my last post, but my mind just will not shut up today!! And I’m a blogger now, right? I guess I’m supposed to just write whenever the mood strikes! Maybe it’s this annoying, nauseating headache that I’ve had since 4 o’clock this morning!? Sometimes I do my best thinking when I can barely concentrate. Say what??? That doesn’t make sense…But I also really feel like complaining on days like this. I don’t know how, since we had an amazing family night last night. We took the family to the zoo for Electric Safari and just had a blast. It’s amazing to see how these kids look at the world– and how one screams with intense fear of the giraffes! And then we were lucky enough to have Bella, the four a half year-old, stay the night with us and go to work with me this morning. How can I complain with this kind of good stuff?
Well maybe it started at 4 o’clock this morning when I was awakened by a thud and a jingle. I woke up startled, and quickly realized that my large Santa must have fallen on the tile floor in the living room. He either decided to try to take his own life or we have a ghost. And we often do wonder if we have a ghost since the tower lights (right next to where this dear Santa sits) have been turning on by themselves lately! But then I was awake and realized I needed to pee (when do I not have to?) AND that I had a pretty bad headache setting in😳ugh! I didn’t even have any wine last night!! Maybe it was the 2 (or 3) Christmas cookies and the sweet hot chocolate at the zoo?? At this point in time I figured I was tired enough to just try to fall back to sleep and not take any drugs – I really try not to take any pain relievers unless I absolutely need them. I managed to fall back to sleep for a few hours until the hubby’s alarm went off and the four-legged members of our family jumped up to eat. Of course this roused Bella and there went my bit of sleeping in. But really, who can be grumpy with that sweet, little face crawling into bed with you at 7:30 in the morning? So us girls slowly got moving – and I gave in to a pain reliever called caffeine. It was a great morning to take her to work since I only had one client and she loves being at the studio. And what a sweet, little breakfast date to have after work! But that annoying headache just will not go away! I was tempted to have even more caffeine, but sometimes it sends me over the edge into a worse headache! So I sucked it up, gave into a couple pain relievers, and we headed to Costco.
You would think at noon on a Tuesday would be pretty quiet. But not the week before Christmas! Don’t people have to work anymore?! We managed to plow our way through Costco with people everywhere- just like weekend crowds. And why do they all have to park their carts in the middle of the aisle just to get free samples?! Eat at home people! Oh my gosh I wanted to ram them with my cart, but figured that wasn’t a great idea with Bella sitting in the back of it! See, I can get a little grumpy and lose my positive attitude! Sometimes it’s a lot of pressure being the one who is positive 96.88 percent of the time! I figure I deserve a chance to get grumpy and complain once a while! (Wow, there are a lot of exclamation points in there!) Take a breath…
Well now I sit at Discount Tire waiting to get my winter tires on. I was a scared, shaking, little pansy on the road after we got our first ice skating rink laid out on our neighborhood road last week! My headache is getting worse. I figured I can have a headache and wait for tires just as easy as have a headache while sitting on my couch. But, now here I sit, and I feel like I’m gonna puke- could be the revoltingly strong air freshener wafting out of the restroom, the reading glasses I had to put on to see my phone screen, the annoying twitch in my glute for the 36th time today, or the little girls running and screaming across the store playing hide and seek… I digress again. After reminding myself that I’m blessed to be sitting here putting an extra set of tires on a pretty decent car, I decided I needed to “suck it up, buttercup”!
I’m reminded again of my mom and what she had to suck up. She had always been a strong, independent woman who worked full time and was single most of my life. She climbed pretty high in the corporate world, where men tried to push her down and make her feel inferior. But exactly 16 years ago, she was confined to hospice and not able to go to breakfast, Costco, wait for tires, or do fun holiday stuff with her family. Her days were spent waiting for me to arrive at hospice, just to pick her up out of bed (remember I was a bodybuilder, and the hospice team could no longer lift her without a very uncomfortable machine) I’d get her out of bed and place her straight on her “commode” and get her all cozy and warmed up with her blankets. Really, how cozy can one get on a cold plastic commode?? She’d sit there for an hour, we’d get her dressed, and moved over to her electric wheelchair- which she couldn’t even operate anymore because her last strong finger had succumbed to ALS. We’d do her hair, maybe apply some lipstick, listen to music, read her emails, talk with visitors, joke with the staff, feed her a meal, and eventually I’d head home to my family to make dinner and spend some time with them. This was almost every day. And she barely ever complained. When anyone would walk in her room, she’d force a smile and come up with something positive to say. That was my mom. Her strength and fortitude was amazing. And her faith in God was even more amazing. Without my faith, I’m pretty sure I’d be quite the negative, bitchy gal! And I’d probably just take someone out with my Costco cart! But it doesn’t mean I don’t get down or complain once in awhile.
Here’s the truth, people…we all have sucky things happen in life. Or get some horrible or painful disease. Or lose a loved one to a disease or a sudden freak accident. Or have forces of nature wreck our lives and take all we own. It sucks and hurts! And we have to live in that moment and experience that reality. It sucks! Ummm…did I already say that? We all need to complain once in awhile. That’s why we have spouses!;) But we can’t get stuck in it. If you find yourself being a “joy sucker”, constantly pointing out the negative in life, feeling depressed or worthless, PLEASE find someone to talk to. Get a referral for a good therapist, hang out with positive people instead of the negative ninnies, or better yet, turn to God. He has answers. And if you’re saying, “but I’m not a God type person”, you can still find some peace in your life. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the dark side. Oh wait, that was just in The Last Jedi…but really, don’t get stuck. Cry, shout, complain, and make yourself move on as best as you can. We are only here for a short time and life has many amazing blessings to be experienced, if you’re willing.
May peace be with you during this busy time of year, and may what truly matters find a way to stick in your hearts and souls.
Now move on, and go wrap some gifts or something…me and my headache are going home to cry. (I get extra snarky with a headache!) please be done with my tires…<<<<